VICTORIA CITY COUNCIL EXPECTED TO HAVE
BYLAW IN PLACE THIS WINTER
In case we're to be cursed by a snowy white winter this year, Victoria is introducing a bylaw forbidding Frosty the Snowman figures in private yards and public parks. Families are asked to respect the multi-cultural sensitivities of their neighbourhood.
"Frosty is a snow-white icon of privilege. The sight of him triggers PTSD in some members of the community when they walk by," say councillors. "This symbol of oppression has no place in our parks and gardens."
"And why is he always male?" ask #metoo supporters.
"And why does he get a scarf when our homeless population is experiencing coldness?" ask activists.
"And why, what with the CRD smoking ban, is he smoking a pipe?" ask health officials.
Pro-Council journalists ask and answer the classic journalists' questions:
Who? White male
What? Middle-class throw-back
When? Colonial dark ages
Where? Gardens of single family dwellings
"The detached house and garden harbour negative anti-social elements," declares Council. "Housing should be crowded, inclusive and multi-use."
A local university History prof agrees: "Frosty snow-statues are a dangerous symbol of privileged white-guy supremacy. Topple them!"
"With that top-hat, Frosty even looks like John A. Macdonald, whose statue was fortunately removed from public view outside City Hall to spare passers-by the obscenity of its presence," added the prof's colleague.
"If you build a Snow-White-Man and someone throws red paint on it, don't come to us with complaints," say Councillors. "We will begin with public education, but continued non-compliance with the Frosty Ban will result in fines."
"If you build a Snow-White-Man and someone throws red paint on it, don't come to us with complaints," say Councillors. "We will begin with public education, but continued non-compliance with the Frosty Ban will result in fines."
