Here we are at the pet shop, in the parrot section:
Customer: Do they talk?
Manager: Some do, some don't ...
Customer: I want to hear one speak. How about his one?
Customer to parrot: Polly wanna platform?
Parrot: Feathered Lives Matter.
Customer: Of course they do, Parrot.
Parrot: Polly "takes a deep dive". Do you feel safe?
Customer: I beg your pardon?
Parrot: Do you feel safe?
Customer: Uh … sure. Does Polly feel safe?
Parrot: Polly's thirsty.
Customer: Ah! Polly wanna drink?
Parrot: Yes, something medium dry, with musky undertones and a fruity finish, please.
Customer: What am I, the bartender? Polly's a bold old bird …
Parrot: My name's not actually Polly. That's a girly name.
Customer: Sorry.
Parrot: Misgendering Is Violence.
Customer: Aren't they the clever parrot then. … Now what are they doing, Parrot?
Parrot: Reversing their position on the perch.It's Re-versity For Di-versity. I'm pivoting.
Customer: Oh.
Parrot: I'm changing the positionality of my performativity to make it more escalatory.
Customer: Of course. But why do you keep hopping up and down -- it looks exhausting.
Parrot: We're doing our Formal Air Acknowledgement.
Customer: You seem so human.
Parrot: We're not a human. Mis-speciesing Is Violence.
Customer: Well you sure parrot like a human.
Parrot: Just "reaching out".
Customer: Shall I reach in?
Manager to Customer: Hey! Don't open that cage! If you stick your hand in there he'll peck you.
Customer: Me? But we're friends. Allies. We've bonded.
Manager: Yeah? So, you wanna buy a parrot?
Customer: No thanks.
Manager: Because it doesn't talk enough? Maybe that one doesn't, but they can learn, you can compel their speech if you work at it.
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