“Angry Cat” was in 2021 accused of terrorizing Ottawa – by going outdoors. Only an indoor cat is a respectable Canadian fur-baby, he was told, which made him howl so loudly that neighbourhood pit-bulls ran for cover. “You humans get to choose pronouns, and I can't even choose a better noun than 'fur-baby',” he asked. Exhibiting leash-hesitancy, he is accused of not caring about the health of fellow Canadians. At this, he spits and hisses as strenuously as a Member of the Opposition in the House of Commons -- but the Member of this Paw-liament doesn't do apologies. “Never explain,” is his motto, “let the fur fly where it will”.
His human defends this angry black cat vigorously: “That's no off-leash stray, that's my Service Cat” she/he says. “Who are you to denigrate him? To denigrate means to 'blacken' someone, but he's already a black cat,” she points out, “and don't Black Lives Matter any more? And what about people experiencing disability, like me? Do we matter, we marginalized bi-polar neuro-variant PTSD-sufferers with agoraphobia? I can't go out without my Service Cat. I'm too vulnerable.” (Their voice trembles and tears trickle.)
A class action suit has been initiated by fellow Humans Dependent on Service Animals. Legal fees are high, but the Cat Liberation allyship has raised money along with hackles – just enough, by a whisker. The whole flapdoodle will be heard in court as soon as Angry Cat next butts his head through the flap of his cat-door, sharp of tongue.
“What do you think I am, an elderly human imprisoned in solitary confinement in a long-term care home," he asks? "Cats have a history of freedom and a genetic Right To Roam."
On the other side of the country, cougars padding secretively through Vancouver's Stanley Park watch the debate carefully although, having that laid-back west coast attitude, they prefer the Silent Prowl to the Angry Growl.
