At the Pet Shop

Here we are at the pet shop, in the parrot section:

 

Customer: Do they talk?

Manager: Some do, some don't ...

Customer:  I want to hear one speak. How about his one? 

Customer to parrot: Polly wanna platform?

Parrot:  Feathered Lives Matter.

Customer:  Of course they do, Parrot.

Parrot:  Polly "takes a deep dive". Do you feel safe?

Customer:  I beg your pardon?

Parrot:  Do you feel safe?

Customer:  Uh … sure. Does Polly feel safe?

Parrot:  Polly's thirsty.

Customer:  Ah! Polly wanna drink?

Parrot:  Yes, something medium dry, with musky undertones and a fruity finish, please.

Customer:  What am I, the bartender? Polly's a bold old bird …

Parrot:  My name's not actually Polly. That's a girly name.

Customer:  Sorry. 

Parrot:  Misgendering Is Violence.

Customer:  Aren't they the clever parrot then. … Now what are they doing, Parrot?

Parrot:  Reversing their position on the perch.It's Re-versity For Di-versity. I'm pivoting. 

Customer:  Oh.

Parrot:  I'm changing the positionality of my performativity to make it more escalatory.

Customer:  Of course. But why do you keep hopping up and down -- it looks exhausting.

Parrot:  We're doing our Formal Air Acknowledgement.

Customer: You seem so human. 

Parrot:  We're not a human. Mis-speciesing Is Violence.

Customer:  Well you sure parrot like a human. 

Parrot:  Just "reaching out".

Customer:  Shall I reach in?

Manager to Customer:  Hey! Don't open that cage! If you stick your hand in there he'll peck you.

Customer:  Me? But we're friends. Allies. We've bonded.

Manager:  Yeah? So, you wanna buy a parrot? 

Customer:  No thanks.

Manager:  Because it doesn't talk enough? Maybe that one doesn't, but they can learn, you can compel their speech if you work at it. 

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Strutting and Fretting on the BC Law Society's Stage ("compelled pronoun usage")

(See  https://vancouversun.com/opinion/columnists/ian-mulgrew-b-c-lawyers-wont-debate-courts-new-pronouns-policy-as-hateful-resolution-fails )

Two resolutions have been presented at the Law Society of BC: one to force use of "gender inclusive" language in court, and another which alleges that this would endanger free speech and silence politically incorrect views. That's an attack on the equality of non-binary people, was the hyperbolic retort to that allegation. All this turns the courts of B.C. into "politically correct theatre", charge the supporters of Resolution number 2. 

No! Really? Law courts theatrical? They certainly provide comedy at times.

Courts of law have of course always been theatrical, filled with costumed actors playing strict roles, delivering grand soliloquy or clown-speak, strutting and fretting their hour on the stage and trying on different masks, like the defendant cited in the BC Law Society's showdown who has "already changed gender once during their case and they’re still at the bail segment". (see Vancouver Sun, above)

Of course this drama wasn't created by the Law Society, it was imported from the wider culture, where many folks remain bemused about whatever "misgendering non-binary people" through pronouns might mean. 

Many of us are just pro-noun. Here's a good noun: "farce". It means a type of drama designed "to excite laughter," and also means "an absurdly futile proceeding". No doubt we've only seen Act One of the Law Society Misgendering Comedy, and many characters still wait in the wings, still intending to demand their pound of flesh.

For more on "compelled pronoun usage", see https://quillette.com/2021/10/08/weekly-roundup-and-the-harassment-of-dorian-abbott-and-kathleen-stock/

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