The municipality is building a team for the Waste Stream Restructure Program
“It's a 270-step process,” announces Chief-Bureaucrat-in-Charge, “according to our newly-purchased tax-funded SafeWaste Digital Modelling APP.”
Estimating a twenty year completion time-frame, they are hiring several dozen new staff. Why will the project take so long, ask Taxpayers' Representatives?
“We can't begin until after the two-year comprehensive
analysis of existing services.”
“Why so long for that?”
“The time frame's only an estimate at this point, as we're
still in the pre-planning stage, before we get to the planning stage.”
“Oh. And in the distant post-planning future, what then?”
“Well, then we'll be do evaluation, estimation, consultation,
designation of de-marginalization ...
“And for the public ... information?”
“About what?”
“About, say, a completion date?”
“Completion will depend on the pace of upgrades to international Climate Change Protocols, plus consultation with stakeholder, racialized, indigenous and trans groups regarding equity, inclusion, diversity and of course the building of a de-colonization checklist in partnership with our advisors from the university's new Faculty of Dynamic Indigenized Gender-Free Social Equity.”
“Oh. Well, getting back to the waste-stream ...”
“The what?”
“The stream of waste, isn't that what the project's about?”
“Oh. Yes.”
“Will you be able to marginalize and exclude harmful plastics
from re-usable organic materials?”
(Pause) “Umm ... Well, of course I couldn't say, at this
point in time. We need to take a deep dive into consulting, partnering, de-gendering,
evaluating, assessing, sustaining and ...”
“So, my as yet un-born children will have graduated from
university before your program graduates to any actual separation of plastics
from organics, if anything organic still exists in the world by then, and ...”
“Okay, just hang on there, don't raise your objection at me Pal,
we have rules around abusive questioning of members of Protected Public
Employees Category A, and ... Why are you screaming? Do you have PTSD? Has
something triggered you? Do you need an ambulance? Wait ... I'll text them ...
Sorry ... can't. Their message says 'LA-LA-LA I CAN'T HEAR
YOU ...'”
