Dear Santa Claus,
I don't want anything new for Christmas; I just want to stop losing what I already have. Some Favourite Things are disappearing: books in print, clock radios, landline phones, pay-phones, lawns, paper money, folding maps, greeting cards, stamps ... (and the whole Post Office ...)
Instead of hanging a stocking for you to fill I have left a stocking full of things for you to take away: shopping "membership" cards, cellphones, Global Positioning System, CCTV camera, fit-bit monitors, Kindle readers, plastic packaging, cat-leash, meat, and "apps".
Thanks, Santa -- just close the chimney when you leave.