The Ideal Neighbour
-- never whistles
-- has a dog who doesn't bark
-- has a cute kid or two who wave over the fence but never shriek
-- grows foliage in his garden
-- has no surveillance cameras
-- doesn't put an officious Neighbourhood Watch sign in the window
-- keeps to himself which lives he thinks matter
-- doesn't put election signs on the lawn
-- waters the lawn
-- hates loud music
-- thinks "hip-hop" is what robins do on the lawn after he waters it
-- possesses no leaf blower, chainsaw or drill
-- has a good high hedge
-- doesn't keep saying we should get together
-- doesn't move away
-- continues never to whistle
