There's too much white space on the Canadian flag, charge municipalities and ethnic groups. They demand that the colours be changed to orange on a brown background.
"What were they thinking in 1965 when this flag was adopted?" they ask. "Didn't they know white equals racist?"
Uh … no. It seemed about as inoffensive and non-ideo-ethnically-divisive as a flag could be. It has a LEAF. Canada's full of LEAVES.
Still, say those determined to be ideologically offended: "If there's a statue of that flag's designer (George Stanley) it needs to be knocked down. We will search the civic squares and parks where it may be lurking -- 'We shall fight it on the beaches, we shall fight it on the landing grounds, we shall fight it in the fields and in the streets …' "
Civil rights associations, however, advise that "caution" would be wise. Should there be a referendum?
"No!" say anti-flaggists. "Referendums that include the whole voting public are artifacts of systemic colonialism smacking of systemic parliamentary f---g systemic democracy. We need to get past all that historical garbage."
The Society For Sane Thinking has issued a statement of disagreement. "Why adopt a background of orange and gloomy muddy brown on the flag?" they ask. "That seems to represent muddy thinking." Whereupon the rights groups charge that that just proves it.
Asked for their opinion, people in the street have varied reactions.
"Canada has a flag?" asks one.
"What a hue and cry about crying over a hue!" exclaims an exasperated senior.
"Canada Day should be a National Day of Pennant-Penance," suggests a morose skateboarder with dreadlocks.
Should George Stanley's statues be removed, if any exist, asks the journalist?
"Dunno," shrugs a teenager. "Is he the dude who made the Stanley Cup? Can't de-platform that."
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