I wanted to write my Memoirs, but I got writer's block. So I hired a ghost-writer to write the book for me. The results are invisible, but I do sense an authorial presence. So I'm making presents of non-copies for creative visualizers who enjoy imagining the content of a magical ghostly gift. I think they'll find the prose hauntingly beautiful.
The memories I meant to put into my Memoirs have dissolved into phantoms of forgetfulness anyway, which is just as well because all sorts of unorthodox and embarrassing things happened in my life which I'd rather forget. I needn't tell readers about that -- I don't want to make a spectre of myself.
Finding a ghost-writer is a good way to market shadowy shades of literature -- even fifty shape-shifting shades, perhaps. No unkind book reviewer will find any grammatical faults at all, and the book will waft readers straight into a world of Holiday-From-Reality magic. I imagine already my Memoirs on bookstores' shelves, enticingly hovering in the Fantasy section.
In January, I hired the ghost-writer to write my How to Keep to Ten New Year's Dream-Resolutions. My writing career is really taking off. I'll be mysteriously prolific this year.
